Tears were brought to my eyes yesterday. They were tears of joy and tears of gratitude. It was all about moments of love, tenderness and affection and a forgotten part of me had to be brought back to share this wonderful experience.
I hadn’t even realised when life’s rush became so intense and I, so busy, that everything else became secondary. One of the most important extensions of mine, writing, was quite neglected lately. Some might even say it has been forgotten since a while now.
Came along teaching the ELI kids at Roche-Bois a few months back. It has been a decision I finally took as I just could not resist the wonderful charms and smiles of the ELI kids anymore. But keeping up with work, Rotaract duties and lessons at the centre have been sometimes hard. There are days when, unfortunately, life’s priorities take over and we act selfishly, despite us not realising it. And I have also been unfortunately part of that miserable group. In spite of Cedric’s and Sam’s continuous insistence, I have often found it hard to find time to write the feedback reports and blog entries. Writing for my own sake has also been quite rare in the past few months and was making itself quite desirable.
But yesterday night has just been one of those, when, even if a good night’s sleep seemed to be all that I needed, I had to write to express my overwhelming feelings, even though it meant I might sleep on my laptop while drafting and editing this blog post (something that actually ultimately happened- Wonder what else I was expecting after a sleepless night). Moments such as these are so cherished that life’s hustle-bustle with all its hassles become just worth so less and putting them aside without any guilt becomes actually possible and doable.
So, here is for you an intense feeling that could not be shared in any other way. It had to be writing itself. Life’s worth so much more than the daily hassles and rush at the end of the day:
After a sleepless night, with drowsy eyes, I struggled to bring myself to the centre. I had not seen the kids for so many days so I could not keep myself away from them any longer. Half-asleep in my school staffroom, while waiting for the time to pass to get to Roche-Bois, in spite of quite a few asking me to go home and rest a bit, somehow, I managed to get convince them and myself that I have been away for too long. But with my eyes half-close while driving on the way, I started having second thoughts. I struggled to keep my eyes open and even if a cup of coffee was more than welcome, it was not yet enough to keep me wide awake. I kept wondering what I would be able to deliver in this zombie-mode of mine.
Yet, I managed to convince myself to get there. As I stopped the car in front of the centre, my only thought was to spend just some time with the kids and get away from there as soon as possible. I peeped in at the main door to check what was happening and the kids were running around, waiting for someone to settle them down. I had barely put in one foot in that one of the girls who noticed me came running to me and hugged me tight, exclaiming how happy she was to see me. As I put the second foot in, without me really understanding what was happening, I was soon hugged by a few of those little angels who just would not let me go. In the background, I could hear the boys exclaiming how happy they were I came.
It was such a magical moment, a moment of sheer bliss. I felt so intensely grateful. A feeling of guilt, for the thought of cancelling the lesson, got over me but that was soon brushed away by the magic of the moment. I felt loved, as if never loved before. I felt blessed, as if never blessed before. Grateful is a word too weak to express my emotions, gratitude and feelings. Being cherished by so many little hearts is such a blessed feeling. And I want all my best and blessed wishes to be theirs.
Thank you, kids, for being the wonderful angelic beings that you are and for the mummy feeling that you bring out of me each time I see you. Thank you for the charm you have which brings back the real ME all the time. Thank you, ELI Africa, for giving me this blessed opportunity. Thank you, Cedric, for bearing with me and still trusting me as much.
Love and kisses to loads, Neha